Could the mother get in trouble for this?
I have joint legal custody of my kids and have them physical custody on Sunday and Monday (for now, court pending for joint physical custody).
I filled out my portion of my kids emergency cards (under medical emergency, I listed my contact information leaving space for mom to write hers) and sent them with kids to moms house so she can fill out her part and turn them into the school.
Last week I was at school following up with a disiplinary action about my daughter and talking to her teacher regarding her incompleted homework. I looked in her file and I noticed her emergency card was changed. Under the medical emergency contact info, mother scribbled out my info and put hers. She then drew an arrow and wrote under my name "MONDAYS ONLY" She then wrote on the little lines "CALL Mother FIRST, then dad."
I was a little upset by this. It seems like she is alienating me from being contacted from my kids even in an emergency. I understand I have physical custody on Monday, but I do have 50/50 legal custody (meaning I help make decisions regarding medical treatment..etc) I also work ten minutes away from the school, where the mother works 30 minutes away. In an emergency I can be there quick; it should not matter who has physical custody of that day or not, emergency is and emergency!
So is this something the mother can get in trouble with, deliberatley crossing out my name and writing thruout the emergency card (MONDAYS ONLY) after my name on a legal school document? I feel more like the babysitter than my children’s father here. I would like to present this to the judge in our court hearing next month.
Thanks
The mother and I do NOT get along so a civil conversation in unfortunately not an option. In the past, mom has not been available for contacts from the children’s school, I have. A couple of times, the school has called me for pic up because mom forgot to get her. (what??)
I do have a court hearing pending to modify physical custody so I may be legally caretaker of our kids. As right now, I do most of this on my own because I care about my kids education and have on a few occasions had to take care of disipline actions because mom just ignored them.
I feel the arrows and replacing my name with hers IS out of line. She could have simply just added her name and info on the other line provided and not made a huge deal over it. She has also been emailing teachers telling them we do not get along and she can’t deal with me blah blah blah. I think she tries to gain sympathy and make me look like the bad guy.
She is the primary caregiver so she should be called first – but – the arrows and the "call me first" are a little bit out of line. If I worked in the school office and saw that marked-up mess I would probably think she was a bit of a psycho. However, when it comes down to it, it’s just a piece of paper in a filing cabinet and both of your information is on it and it will do it’s job if there is an emergency. I agree that if you are able to talk to your ex first and tell her what you told us you might feel better about things. If she is apologetic maybe you will avoid future frustrations.
No she can not get in trouble for that but she is the primary care giver so you know there’s that.
You should sit down and talk to her about that before taking it to the court. Tell her why you’re so upset with the situation in a non hostile manner. Make it known that despite not being with them daily you still want to be an active memeber of your children’s life.
Communcation goes a long way.
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Well, since she has the kids the bulk of the school week, her contact info should be first on all docs.
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She is the primary caregiver so she should be called first – but – the arrows and the "call me first" are a little bit out of line. If I worked in the school office and saw that marked-up mess I would probably think she was a bit of a psycho. However, when it comes down to it, it’s just a piece of paper in a filing cabinet and both of your information is on it and it will do it’s job if there is an emergency. I agree that if you are able to talk to your ex first and tell her what you told us you might feel better about things. If she is apologetic maybe you will avoid future frustrations.
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Call her out on it.
It becomes a problem for the school if there are so many different numbers to call. Sounds like the mother tried to make it easier as far as who is the FIRST contact. You two should work out though who can get there first AND who can afford the rest of the day off from work when you have to stay home with a sick kid.
It should also be considered who would be more likely to keep the other parent in the loop. Will you call her right away and vice versa?
Remember this is what is best for a child, not about who is in more control.
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You’re TRYING to make trouble. Fact is, the mother is the primary guardian, since she has physical/residential custody four of the five school days. She did nothing wrong by indicating that you are the emergency contact on Mondays only, since that is the only school day that is designated as your parenting day. Why are you so bent over it?
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