Should I allow my wife to work?
Hi,
I am 31 yrs old and we are getting a proposal from a gal’s family.She is 24 and 6 months back she was just a Master’s degree in Arts and was pursuing B.P.O. computer training course.
I work as a medical representative in Eastern Indian city and I draw a Rupees 11,000 salary per month ,and I am a plain B.Sc. pass graduate.The company I work in is a newly launched Europe- based small pharma company in India .I have a total work exp in pharma sales of 2 & 1/2 yrs.
For last 6 months the gal’s family was silent when I tried to contact them for marrying their daughter.Now suddenly last Sunday gal’s father called up saying they r coming to fix the marriage if my father agrees.The gal has now got a job of a receptionist in some pvt co or BPO (I am not sure yet !!).
Now ,I suspect something wrong as…1)Her father is a local businessman not so rich running a card-shop in a Municipal Corporation office bldg.
2)I work in my brother-in-laws company where he is the G.M./Country Head and since I am not a good performer it’s possible that I may become unemployed at some point of time in the future.
3)a)The gal might flee with someone of his own company/her Boss or Manager
b)It might all be a got-up case that is the Gal went to Delhi as his father said …or maybe Mumbai and my sister who has no child might make her father agree that they will take care of her daughter as well if he marries my daughter to me and later they might kill or handicap me by causing a accident on the road(BTW I roam about a lot around the city in a motorbike as I have to cover a lot of area in Sales job)..So I am afraid that it might be a conspiracy..or I may face a pre-planned divorce and my married wife becoming a surrogate mother of my sister’s husband Help !!!
My parents in this too…and so is the political parties here…
What shall I do?
Please advice me as I am getting older too and all young guys around me are married half or near my age and having kids
Dont marry her. With this thoughts and opinions u will not be happy with her even what u r thinking is wrong.
Dont worry being 31 is not so old. Search for other allainces
Naa lock her up and dnt let her out, she needs to stay in and never work again
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You asked "should I allow my wife to work" are you her keeper, does she need permission to work? there is more to her than you and she has a right to make her own decisions as you do…
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ya u should not stop ur wife from doing a job.let her do.that’s the new generation and all ladies work outside so let her do so.dont stop her.u"ll be also helped in a great way.when she will earn money that can be used for the welfare of ur home also.so let her do what she wants.
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allow her to work yes and I think your imagination is running into overtime its one day at a time life can change at any time but being paranoid and try to keep someone penned up at home is not the answer
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um get married when you fall in love. too much politics!
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I don’t think you are in an emotional state and should not make any big decisions now………….especially to get married. You are projecting problems in the future when you should be working on what’s going on now. Your thinking is not clear and you need to see a counselor or therapist to help you sort things out. btw referring to a woman as a ‘gal’ is considered rude.
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Wow, you’ve got a lot going on huh? I think you are worrying way to much. By the way in your opening you asked if you should allow your wife to work then you went on to something else. I don’t think it should be your choice if your wife works…that is to much power over one person and everyone should have an equal say in the things that involve their lives. This is not just about you. If this is an arranged marriage then maybe her parents feel that she is getting older too and there is less prospective husbands out there. Also her biological clock is running. Why would they kill you in the streets. If this is the type of family that you are willing to marry into I would hate to see the people you consider your enemies. You have to trust family, and your in-laws would be your family. All of you need to sit down and talk about everything. You need to let them know your fears. Also any woman you marry, you need to be secure enough as a man to allow her the decisions too! Good Luck!!
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Be practical… if u r really interested in marrying her then its ok… wat so ever might happen previously ask her directly..n if ur not convinced by her words thn its upto ur decision.. but my suggestion would be if u still suspect her better don’t marry.. both of u will not be able to lead a happy life…the relation b/w u ppl will be gud only if u trust oneanother..
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Hi,first you need to calm down.Maybe you & the lady in question will make a lovely couple.Let her work it will keep her happy & bring in extra money which you will need when the patter of little feet arrive.
Good Luck
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OMG, don’t be so concerned about what other people think that it consumes you and makes you appear desperate to belong. you should be you and your wife should be her. you both should respect yourselves as well as each other enough to at least do that. or you shoulldn’t have gotten married. Time to grow up and be mature human beings. Never ever put anything before your spouse on the priority list.
Thanks, hope this will be helpfull.
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If she wants to work…so be it. If she doesn’t, then she shouldn’t. It’s really not up to you ar anyone else.
I think you should let your wife work, if you do not, then it will be stopping her from doing something that she wants to do and that she has a passion to do.
Plus, it will also help earn extra income for you and her when and if you decide to have a family.
You are your own person, and so is your wife, respect that, she respects your wishes, it is time to respect hers.
I volunteer at my daughter’s school in the morning, I cut out at 11:00 am, to go swimming, then I go back to her school from 2:00-4:00 to finish the day, I do not get paid, but this is something I really enjoy, I love the people, the children, and just doing something good to make a difference.
It fulfills my life, I think this is something your wife wants also, something to fill that "void" in her life, and I think you should let her do it.
My husband lets me do mine, and if I did not have his loving support, I do not know what I would do.
It all comes down to respecting each-other and being there for each-other and supporting each-other.
Once your wife gets your support, it will pull your marriage closer.
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16 years of marriage, going on 17!!
Peace,
Misty
You dont own your wife she is a person not a possession – she can work if she wants too. Dont dictate to her what she can and cant do or you will end up with someone who secretly despises you when you could of had a lover and a friend. And stop being paranoid – try trusting others everyone is not out to get you. Im sure if she is marrying you that she loves you – so treat her well and you will have a faithful companion for life and trust her to pusue her own goals and she will love you all the more for it.
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I know how women think!
The main problem is that eastern women who just sit at home can get fat, ugly, boring, dumb and unhealthy. So I would let her to go to work, even if she can have some chat or else with other men. The life will be more interesting.
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let her work for herself don’t let women stay at home or you will lose your mind
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Listen here,i think you are the same guy I read about on Answers sometime back too.I sensed something fishy around you then but forgot to write to you.I think,things are no good even now with you.Firstly,please you need to get out of that house of tormentors which is possible only if you become self sufficient which is inturn next to impossible if you loose your confidence.Because you have a modest income i would like to advice you to start on with MNM.My parents are into it and are doing great.Ofcourse it is no magical income generating but in a matter of 2 to 3 yrs you have a regular inflow of money and in a maximum of next one yr or so you start getting royalty which means you have security to ensure smooth sailing in times of crisis.For instance,God forbid any accident or even if you are not there,the people who depend on you won’t be struck that hard financially.Other benefits are ,getting more time for yourself and the people around you,no reporting to a boss,time multiplication etc.That’s just a suggestion anyways.Please understand that nobody is a junk.Afterall God didn’t make his people in slots of good days and bad days deciding to send junk on days he didn’t like to work on.He is not like us.Every person made by him has been crafted to perfection.Man is his best creation as it is said.And I am sure you are another very special creation of his’.Why do you think you are not a good performer?Is it because you expect too much out of yourself or is it because these rascals have engraved it in your mind?If the former is the reason,then probably its because your heart is somewhere else and even though you have immense potential you are not giving in your 100% and knowing this very fact makes you upset.But if latter is the case,then please for God sake let them not do this to you.They have no right to crush you down.You are 31 and though not old as you think but still a nice 14 yrs elder to me falling into this magical bracket of young Indians who reserve the power to do anything and everything!You have a free will to do what you like and to achieve what you want.How can you let yourself be so miserable?Get out on the front,fight it out.You are a born winner who cannot loose.Please realize that only you have the power to change what you get.Make things shape up the way you want them to and not vice versa.And don’t marry this girl now!I have no idea of whether they are playing any cards or not but even if they are not doing it you need to first be able to take your responsiility and then somebody elses.Don’t rush into things.Lastly i want to make a sincere request to you of seeing an honest friend or anybody who you think can lift you up at this moment.Speak out to them.It helps a lot!Now I have an exam tomorrow which is making me stop here but I hope I could do little good to you.Remember that you have all to make it and also all to break it.Just a matter of choice.
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Nope,
tie her up to the kitchen table!
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Allow her to choose.
My wife was working at time of engagement / wedding. After pregnancy she asked my choice. She left the job with my suggestion. I have to hear all every day. She is still interested in job and feel sorry without job. I suggested her that for his safety, relax but I am not relaxed.
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OMG if your wife wants to work she can work she don;t need your permission..
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First thing you should do is rephrase your question as it is NOT your job to "allow" her to do anything, it should be her own choice.
Secondly, if you think this whole issue is a conspiracy and have all these doubts, then why would you even consider getting married to her? Just forget about it and it’ll make life a lot easier for you.
As far as the young guys around you getting married, why should you care what they do? You should worry about what’s best for you and not anybody else. Don’t give age a priority when thinking about marriage, just wait for the right person to come along.
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Dont marry her. With this thoughts and opinions u will not be happy with her even what u r thinking is wrong.
Dont worry being 31 is not so old. Search for other allainces
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Great One…
I must say, its worth it! My link, http://www.pocketshark.com/blog/page/kris,thanks haha…